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I was just a regular buddy to most friends until I started working and all of a sudden most of them started entertaining dreams- I peed diamonds.
I guess life happens and at one point, depending on your social status and the value you have to offer, people will start having outrageous demands which could come in the form of investment of time, finances and emotional investment among others. Practising the art of saying “no” becomes a better choice than giving a Zidane-headbutt to outrageous demands.
LEARNING TO SAY NO IS A SKILL
Learning how to say “no” is an uncomfortable skill to hone as it goes against the very fundamental belief system of most people. We are all brought up in a social structure which teaches us to uphold a positive image to others and saying no to people is a perfect way to jeopardize that. What happens to the relationship between you and the other party afterwards? Pretty uncomfortable huh?
If you have been following my blog closely I talk about the topic of “niceness” or people pleasers in a brutally disgusting honest light. I talked about 6 reasons why being a people pleaser is a terrible idea. It comes at a cost! If you are willing to take on so many commitments, you run the risk of being unproductive and maximizing your chances of being stressed to death.
THE SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE WAYS!
So, I put together 12 simple ways to say no without sounding like a…mmmm…dickhead!
1. No
2. I just don’t have that to give right now
3. Maybe next time
4. Sounds fun, but I’m not available
5. I wish I could, but I just can’t
6. That’s not going to work for me
7. No, I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do
8. I don’t think I’m the right person to help with that.
9. No thank you
10. I understand you really need my help, but I’m just not able to say yes to that. I’m so sorry
11. Unfortunately, that’s not something I can do at this time
12. I’m going to say no for now. I’ll let you know if something changes
Bonus: Sorry I’m busy.
There you go. Simple and effective to use in situations that suit their use. But be warned, you will have to be assertive and mean them when you say it. Maintain strong eye contact if in person, and erase the use of “errr…”. You don’t want to be communicating the opposite.
Uncomfortable yes but for people pleasers, you need to practice saying no. Exercise that muscle. Become comfortable with the discomfort.
Value your time, have priorities and stick to your guns. You deserve me-time too!
Cheers, Dr.C
Do you have effective tips to share on “how to say no?”. Share in the comment section below.
I guess I have to stop saying more or less 😁😁😁.
Saying no is hand but when people realise you mean it , they stop pushing. Thanks DrC
Hahaha. More or less? Worse substitute I’ve heard for a “No””. I agree saying “no” is really hard but a bit of practice and persistence pays off. Hopefully “more or less” escapes your dictionary. Cheers
OMG. This overly sensitive world we have started to live in, is really exhausting. You can’t deservedly tell someone “your request sucks”, without being a dick nowadays. Being pretentious in our societies has become the morally acceptable standard meanwhile, we are unconsciously losing the part of ourselves that make us unique. Well, if these 12 phrases can help me to tell people “NO!” in a “socially acceptable way”, Ok. I don’t want to sound like a prick saying this … ah who cares, its too late. Major Asshole found. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh such a great relief!! Thanks very my DrC Now I know with these 12 ways, bingo!, no uneasiness after saying no to someone 😊
Hi Sheriff. Great hearing from you. So glad you made time to read this post. I must say it really was a relief for me, learning how to say no. Cheers to many better days ahead.
Nice one Dr.C . Those tips will really come in handy.
Hi Tony. Glad you found this post helpful. Cheers
Saying No seem to be a bad omen but that’s such a great write up man I need more… Keep it up
Great hearing from you Antwi. I certainly do side with your views regarding the bad light given to saying “No”. To the detriment of my personal space and happiness, hell no!
Thanks for the feedback. Got more amazing posts in the tank. Cheers
It’s funny how I say No and people think I’m too blunt. A No is a No. Hehehe
Hi Nana Poku. Great hearing from you! “A No is a NO!” love this! Kudos you’ve mastered the art. This was a personal struggle for me, till I got over my fear of hurting people by denying them their demands.
Thanks for the feedback. Cheers
Aaaaw…I really find it difficult saying no to someone…I will be asking myself what will this person feel if i say no….and sometimes how to put it koraa will be a problem…
But upon reading this 9 ways my problem is solved….infact words can’t express how you have helped me this very day
You really have answer to every problem..
Thank you problem solver…lol
Hi Rhyta. Great hearing from you. Definitely, that not a nice feeling saying No to people. Worse people you love.
Glad I made your day. And oh, 9 ways? Update with the other 3. Lol. Cheers.
I have read about saying No
Which is very practical with me
I find it difficult turning people down buh with these 12 ways of saying No to avoid being people’s pleaser has wowed me
Our African Culture view the word NO as a weakness in some extent that, you saying it paints you as someway person paaa
Hi Kofi : ). Good to hear your perspective on this. At a point also had same discomfort with saying No to people basically because I had to keep a good image. Now that I realize my personal happiness is equally as important as the other person’s, It’s making much more sense to say no to people.
Thanks for the feedback. Cheers Bruv ; )