Right at the top of everyone’s to-be-list screams ‘I want to be happy’. Fuck yeah, the holy grail of all wishes. The possibilities of making that happen seem to be infinite. Yet, not many can actually say they are truly happy. Tragic! Could it be most of us don’t understand what happiness is or the ways to ruin the little happiness we have left in our lives are devastatingly easy?

I wrote a sexy write-up on my idea of happiness. You can read that when you are bored. Meantime, let me teach you creative ways to ruin your happiness with little effort.

LET OTHERS DEFINE WHAT SUCCESS IS TO YOU

Photo of Dan Bilzerian in a golf car with many beautiful women.
Dan Bilzerian( the Instagram King) has got the finest hotties on speed dial. This is just a regular day in his life: fast cars, guns, and hotties. Plenty of hotties. Image Credit: TRC

The formula ‘success = wealth’ is where all the madness begins. Time and time again we are convinced being labelled successful means having more than enough cash to pull off a Dan Bilzerian kind of life, being famous, having our blog posts or YouTube videos viewed over 10 million times or running a hugely profitable business. The tragedy is, those who have these don’t seem to be satisfied and very few reach this perceived idea of success.

We are pretty much dissatisfied because passing that exam, raising a child, finally mastering the balls to ask that girl out on a date, overcoming your fears and doing your first public speaking, spending quality time with family etc aren’t publicized as “mainstream success”.

Could it be your idea of success isn’t even yours in the first place? Well, this blog post is to teach you how to ruin your happiness, so keep labelling yourself “less successful” for not living an idea of success that isn’t yours in the first place.

WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS

Here’s the tough pill to swallow- problems never end. They simply morph from one form to another. Ever heard of bad problems and good problems? Here is the thing, you have two choices: take steps to solve them or worry incessantly about them.

The sweetness of the latter option is that worrying only magnifies your problems. It keeps you in the perpetual state of seeing just how helpless you are. A potent drug for unhappiness.

Worrying incessantly about our problems only make them worse and ruin our happiness
Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash

Read: Why Avoiding Problems Isn’t A Brilliant Idea

WATCHING PORN

If relationships and astrophysics were to be ranked based on difficulty, surely relationships rank higher. It’s quite obvious anything that involves human emotions is pretty much fucked up. Relationships are hard. It is with this insight, we are vulnerable to finding and allowing just about anything that promises quick fixes to our love lives. That’s when porn steps in.

How bad is watching porn?

From tipping into an unhealthy addiction that could be a big struggle recovering from to increased levels of depression, porn isn’t a brilliant quick fix to sneak into your life.

Interestingly, a newly-wed friend of mine recently asked me if it was okay to watch porn with his wife. I told him it was a bad idea without having reasons to back up my counsel. Turns out the research on pornography consumption by couples is pretty explosive.

THE RESEARCH

  • A study done in 2016 shows, pornography use early on in marriages was associated with an increased probability of divorce.
  • Porn leads to objectification and instils the idea that people are disposable and replaceable. Porn preaches: there’s always a “hotter” version than what’s right in front of us.
  • Contrary to popular short term benefits of watching porn, long term, porn often ultimately leads to less satisfying sex and worst of all no sex at all.
  • A study conducted in 2017, found that relationships where one partner consumed more porn than the other were more prone to decreased stability, relationship satisfaction, and healthy communication, and increased aggression within the relationship.
Couple watching porn together. Watching porn can ruin your happiness and love life.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking porn will improve your sex life. You might not recover from the devastating consequences. Image Credit: fightthenewdrug.org

Let’s ruin your happiness, ignore all of this!!!

Read: Confessions Of A Neglected Wife: How It Feels When My Partner Prefers Porn Over Me

MONITOR THE NEWS ALL THE TIME

Being current with issues relating to the world around us seems to be a priority these days. The feeling of being left out downright sucks hence, many of us constantly refresh our news feed, keep the Tv on 24/7 and listen to the news on the go. But here is the catch: the kind of news and visuals that dominate the headlines can be extremely dangerous to our mental health.

Do bombings, sex scandals and sophisticated celebrity gossip sell extra? Credit: GettyImages

You and I can testify to the dark mental cloud Covid-19 news reportage created when the pandemic started. At a point, I was convinced humanity was going to be wiped out by a fuckface virus whose name grandma could barely pronounce.

The way that news is presented and the way that we access news has changed significantly over the last 15 to 20 years. These changes have often been detrimental to general mental health.

Graham Davey, a professor emeritus of psychology at Sussex University in the UK and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Experimental Psychopathology

NEW RESEARCH IS TROUBLING

Recent studies from the American Psychological Association and other sources made some quite revealing discoveries:

  • Davey’s research revealed negative TV news is a significant mood-changer, and the moods it tends to produce are sadness and anxiety. He said: “Our studies also showed that this change in mood exacerbates the viewer’s own personal worries, even when those worries are not directly relevant to the news stories being broadcast”.
  • Negative news outsells positive news. When we’re surrounded with global, negative or dangerous information 24/7, it makes us assume that things are more dangerous than they are. Remember Covid-19 again?
  • Excessive negative news blurs our realities. You definitely know of that guy who doesn’t want to be in any serious relationship because women have “insurance boyfriends” who they screw once in a while. Turns out he reads too much “broken love stories/cheating confessions”. There is so much crap on the internet that shouldn’t shape your reality.

But hey, ignore all the research on news consumption and do the exact opposite of the famous biblical quote in Philippians 4:6.

Do not be anxious about anything…

PHILLIPIANS 4:6

PARTING THOUGHTS

You made it to the end of this irony of a post! Glad you have few tips under your sleeves to wipe out enough happiness from your life. Do these with a frightening passion.

Let’s hit 1000 reads, and I will drop part 2 of this post. Don’t forget to share your thoughts, like and share with friends.

Photo of Chadwick Boseman. Whose death ruined the happiness of many across the world
Rest In Perfect Peace Chadwick Boseman. Thanks for the amazing memories King T’challa.

Cheers, DrC

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